


Aftermath

by dragonsofarlathan



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, Even though they were dating before? like this fic is the definition of "it's complicated", F/M, Grey Wardens, Post-Blight, Post-Dragon Age: Origins, The Dark Ritual, Warden Alistair, Weisshaupt Fortress, and i mean now it's without the pressures of the blight so it's a whole different thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsofarlathan/pseuds/dragonsofarlathan
Summary: Without telling Venowen, Alistair performed the ritual with Morrigan to save the love of his life. Now, as they deal with the Grey Wardens and their questions, Alistair hoped that Venowen would eventually talk to him again, much less continue their relationship.





	Aftermath

After the Coronation and festivities were over, Alistair and Venowen were called back to Weisshaupt Fortress. The warden claimed that neither of them were "in trouble"—it was just a formality to record what happened at Ostagar, the events leading up to the defeat of the Archdemon, and the "circumstances" that led to Venowen surviving slaying the Archdemon—but Alistair still wasn't looking forward to the long trip or the conversation with whoever took their statements.

 

Even more than that, though, Alistair wasn't ready for the long journey with Venowen. Before the battle, he did not tell Venowen what happened between him and Morrigan: he was afraid she’d try and stop him and get herself killed. She had already told Morrigan she wouldn't convince Alistair to do the ritual—Morrigan said that Venowen refused to tell her why other than it had nothing to do with Morrigan—so the witch came to Alistair. It took an unhealthy amount of convincing and several hours, but he agreed. Worst case scenario, he would have the worst sex of his life with the person he hated most in the world and have to deal with the guilt of cheating on Venowen right before she died, or best case, Venowen would live and not hate him and Wynne would know a potion that would let him forget the whole ordeal. For better or worse, neither of those happened. Venowen lived, thank the Maker, but as soon as she realized what happened, she refused to talk to Alistair. He was willing to deal with it if it meant she was alive, but Maker, he missed hearing her voice. Her yelling at him would be better than this.

 

Tathas and a warden were also with them as they traveled northwest to the Anderfels, and though the warden didn't talk much, Tathas thankfully interacted with Alistair and—most of all—didn't hate him. He couldn't talk, sure, but the barking filled the silence occasionally. And the dog was smart, too, and could really put some emotions into that bark. It was like talking to a human who didn't understand common but was really determined not to make Alistair feel stupid by telling him that he didn't understand a word Alistair was saying.

 

Alistair tried—several times—to get Venowen's attention, but rarely did she acknowledge him. When she did, it was always in short, two-word replies or saying yes, she did plan to never speak to him again. The warden was always around, so they never had a chance to actually talk the situation out; from Alistair's understanding, the problem was that he did the ritual, and he didn't want to mention that with the warden around and get sent to warden jail for breaking some assumed code of not sleeping with a witch who is supposedly the actual daughter of the infamous Flemeth.

 

After a little less than two weeks, they reached Weisshaupt and were greeted by two other wardens, one an elf and one a dwarf. They were decked in the warden uniform, as expected, and both of them were carrying weapons, also expected, especially in such a decrepit place like the Anderfels.

 

The warden who traveled with them wished the rest of them a good evening—he was needed elsewhere according to the two wardens—and the elven warden offered to escort Venowen to her room for the night as the dwarf did the same with Alistair. Alistair called "see you later" to Venowen as she, Tathas, and the other elf disappeared around the corner, but she didn't reply, though Alistair wasn't surprised.

 

There were wardens walking up and down the corridor and going in and out of rooms, and Alistair was glad to see so many people in blue and silver. Almost a year had passed since Ostagar, the last time he had been in a room with more than three wardens, and it made him nostalgic again for Duncan and all the others he met during his short time as a warden before they died.

 

The warden took him to a room and gave him a minute to drop off his things, then they began towards the mess hall. Alistair was absolutely starved after the long journey, and he couldn't wait to get some solid food in his belly—Venowen opted to let him cook as usual, so that meant they ate the usual Ferelden broth, one of the only things he knew how to make. He was hoping for some meat that wasn't stringy and vegetables that didn't need to be mixed in with fresh stream water to hide how old and dirty it tasted.

 

Once Alistair picked out a few rabbit legs, a roll that was still steaming, and a bowl of vegetable soup that seemed like none of the ingredients had already been rotting for the past three days, he scanned the room for Venowen. Even if she didn't say a word to him, surely sitting by someone she knew and hated would be better than sitting by someone she didn't know, right? Probably not. Venowen undoubtedly would just sit by herself with Tathas.

 

He didn't see her and the dwarven warden called for him, so Alistair just sighed and sat next to her. She was talking to a few others—Alistair didn't know any of them, but one said that they were from Ferelden before they were sent to Weisshaupt a few years ago—and Alistair did his best to join into the conversation. One of the wardens knew Gregor, and he and Alistair had a few laughs reminiscing about the dwarf’s drinking shenanigans. It made Alistair miss Oghren, surprisingly. He guessed the guy grew on him over the past couple of months.

 

Thinking of Oghren inevitably led Alistair to think of Ven again. He needed to talk with her—Maker, even if she didn't want to continue their relationship, not talking to his closest friend whom he'd seen every day for the past year was killing him. He wasn't sure where her room was, but he didn't mind looking like a complete idiot by knocking on every door down every hall until he found her. He just wanted to talk to her again.

 

After he finished eating, Alistair stood up to excuse himself to his room, saying that he needed some rest to shake off all the travel. The dwarven warden bade her friends farewell as she stood up to escort Alistair back, but he insisted that he could find his way back on his own. She told him that she wasn't allowed to let him out of her sight until his meeting tomorrow. Alistair sighed and made a joke about them being afraid he'd run off. She took it seriously, though, and said that it was just a precaution, meaning they did think Alistair would try and run off despite him coming to Weisshaupt willingly.

 

Alistair spent the night sulking in his room and spent hours trying to fall asleep. He thought about attempting to sneak out and see her, but honestly, she wouldn't want to talk to him, and he didn't want to make everything worse by getting caught where he shouldn't be. Obviously, the wardens were still suspicious about how Venowen managed to slay the Archdemon and survive; they might just assume that Venowen didn’t actually kill it, rather someone else did and there's an old god soul taking a vacation in some darkspawn scurrying about Ferelden, or they might know about the Dark Ritual and plan to kill Alistair, Venowen, and Morrigan for it. Slaughtering of people who didn't resemble a decaying corpse wasn't really a favorite pastime of grey wardens as far as Alistair knew, but this was serious stuff, and the wardens weren't ones to fool with.

 

Morning came, and for the next week, Alistair spent his days in and out of meetings with people he didn't know. Some of them were fairly considerate—most of them knew Duncan, or had at least heard of him or Alistair, and rather than be angry at Alistair for Duncan's death, they'd chat with him about stories of Duncan they knew, or ask about Duncan in his final days—but the rest reminded Alistair of the stories of the stereotypical warden: gritty, hair in a tight ponytail or bun, long but unkempt beard, a stern face. They looked like they came straight from a promotional poster for the wardens if that was actually a thing.

 

They acted just like it, too. It seemed like they had a "good warden, bad warden" thing going on. One would ask how Alistair's day was, then the other would threaten Alistair's life if he so much as thought about lying to them. Alistair imagined Venowen was not reacting well to the latter: in his experience, everyone who has ever threatened Venowen ended up dead. Maker, he know she could do it, but all because she could take down everyone in the fortress single-handedly doesn’t mean she should.

 

Alistair struggled with the harsh wardens, but he was spectacular at playing dumb, and by the end of the week, they were content with believing Alistair didn't know anything else. The leash was loosened, and Alistair was finally allowed to go wherever he wanted around Weisshaupt while he waited for Venowen to finish so they could head back to Ferelden.

 

It took two more days for the wardens to finally be done with Venowen. Alistair tried visiting her, but there was always a warden outside her door, and Alistair was afraid they would get suspicious and attract attention back to Alistair right after he was in the clear. He did visit the kennels and Tathas, though, and the cuteness of all the mabari almost made the loneliness and anxiety waver.

 

On the evening of their tenth night there, the dwarven warden from before joined Alistair at dinner and informed him that the First Warden was done with him and Venowen and they could head back to Ferelden in the morning after receiving their orders. Alistair swallowed the piece of roll in his mouth and thanked her before returning to his dinner. He wondered what their orders could possibly be if they were allowed to return to Ferelden: it's not like they even had an order there at the moment. Anora had granted the wardens Howe's old castle, but without any recruits, they couldn't do much. Maybe that's what they would be doing, trying to find people to join the Wardens?

 

After he finished eating, Alistair returned to his room, and he spent the night wondering what was to come.

 

//\\\//\\\

 

In the morning as soon as he awoke, Alistair packed his few belongings, grabbed breakfast in the mess, then waited in the lobby for Tathas and Venowen to join him or for a warden to ask why the hell he was standing around awkwardly and pretending to admire the structure every time someone looked at him.

 

Thankfully, Tathas and Venowen were the first ones to interact with him. Well, more like Tathas. He came bounding up to Alistair, literally jumping in his arms, while Venowen simply stood to the side and watched.

 

He cooed over Tathas—scratching behind his ears and calling him a good boy and giving him a few pats, the whole works—while they waited for a higher ranked warden to show up and dismiss them. It was Venowen's turn to admire the stone walls and columns, but rather than worry about her like he had the past week, Alistair focused all his attention on his cute mabari friend.

 

It was one of the gruff, vaguely terrifying wardens that came to give them their orders. They were allowed a month to recuperate from the Blight—they couldn't have Alistair and Venowen breaking down from the constant stress and killing some innocents or fellow wardens, right?—but after that, Alistair was to report to the outpost in Orlais to be assigned to a party going on a Thraw Hunt. Alistair had heard about those, and he was glad for the straightforwardness of it, even if he'd be in the Deep Roads for long periods of time. At least he didn't have to help lead another group of misfits against an Archdemon.

 

Venowen, however—because both of her stupendous leadership and the weight that would come with the "Hero of Ferelden" name—was to assist in the rebuilding of the order in Ferelden. She wasn't going to report to the Arling immediately, however—rather, she would receive training from a Warden Commander of one of the other posts in Thedas, and then she'd take over at Amaranthine.

 

Venowen was excellent at keeping her face neutral, so Alistair had no idea if she was excited for the new position or not, but the warden didn't seem to care either way. He asked if they had questions, waited a beat, and then wished them a safe journey back before returning to the fortress. Alistair watched him leave, then shrugged.

 

So, the three of them departed from the Fortress—with enough food to make it back but not nearly as many coats as Alistair would have liked—and headed towards Ferelden, still mostly in silence. Alistair played with Tathas a bit and Venowen would occasionally call for her dog when he ran too far ahead, but other than that, they didn't talk. He'd ask her a question or make a joke, and she'd say nothing. Nada. Banal. Rien. It was getting tiresome.

 

While Alistair and Venowen were setting up camp for the night in Nevarra, Alistair noticed Venowen kept glancing at him. It was quick and barely noticeable, but Alistair managed to catch her eyes flicking back and forth in his peripheral vision. He sighed and sat down the canvas he was holding.

 

"What, do I have some cheese on my face from lunch?" he asked. He was sure she wouldn't answer him, and he was getting tired of this.

 

Shockingly, she glanced at him and continued to put the tent up, but she spoke. Praise the Maker. "Actually, yes."

 

"Oh." He wiped his arm across his face. "Thanks." Like a fool, Alistair picked his piece of the canvas back up and continued to help set the tent up, his cheeks a bit red.

 

"I don't know if this needs to be said, but I think we should end our relationship."

 

Alistair had been expecting that for the past month, but it still sent his stomach plummeting.  "Yep, I already picked up on that."

 

They drove the stakes into the ground and finished setting up the tent. They moved onto the other one, and then Venowen left to get wood for the fire. Alistair left to retrieve water from a nearby stream. Alistair returned before Venowen did. When she came back, they started the fire. They both sat there, Tathas between them on the ground, all just watching the embers and the sun go down.

 

"Why?" he struggled to find his voice, to make a joke or something and ease some of the tension, but that was the first thing to cross his lips.

 

Venowen didn't say anything. She glanced at Tathas sleeping between them and reached down to stroke him gently.

 

Alistair was just going to give up on it when she spoke up. "It's just for the best, Alistair."

 

He shook his head. "But you're not telling me why. Is it because I did the ritual with Morrigan? It was the only way to save—”

 

"I know why you did it, Alistair, you don't need to explain."

 

"Then is it because I did it?" He huffed. "That I had...relations...with Morrigan and made the decision without talking to you first? Because you didn't—”

 

"Can we just drop this, Alistair? I don't want to talk about it."

 

Venowen moved from the cloth she was sitting on and sat closer to Tathas. She played with his ears and patted the top of his head.

 

Alistair thought about just dropping it like she wanted. She was steadfast in this, and that meant he wouldn't be able to get her to budge.

 

But damn it, he loved her, and he wasn't going to give up until she at least gave him an explanation.

 

"Tell me why, and I'll drop it," he said, staring at the back of her head. "Was it something I did?"

 

Venowen stayed silent for a moment before she sighed. "No, Alistair."

 

"Then why?"

 

Venowen whipped her head around and glared at Alistair, making him cringe back. "Because...I don't know, morals? Would you have done the ritual if we weren’t in a relationship? Honestly?"

 

He stared at her, dumbfounded. "Of course I would. Even if we hadn't have been dating, you're still my best friend. I wasn't thrilled to have...relations...with Morrigan, but I would have done it again if it meant we'd both live through the Blight."

 

Venowen stood up and started pacing, so Alistair rose too.

 

"But it's Morrigan!" she shouted, and Alistair wasn't sure at first if she was still talking to him or herself. She started rubbing her temple with one hand. "You hate her! And it was a magic ritual! There's a little Archdemon baby growing in her right now! How are you okay with that? It would have been better if I tried to talk you into it, but I didn't, and that meant that it was your choice! I made you make that choice!"

 

Alistair grabbed Venowen by her arm and turned her around to look at him. He cupped her face. "Ven, I made a choice. It was my decision, it was. I don't like the thought of Morrigan giving birth to an Archdemon baby—my Archdemon baby, I guess—” he chuckled at the absurdity of it, "but I definitely don't regret it. You're safe, I'm safe, and even if you still don't want to be together, you're so important to me, Ven, and Maker, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't around anymore."

 

Venowen stared at him straight in the eyes. "I should have told Morrigan 'yes' myself and convinced you. I just...I felt like I had to do it. I had to kill the Archdemon myself, consequences be damned. I needed to atone for something, but I'm not sure what.

 

"Living, maybe? When everyone else had died? For the people I've killed? You know, before what happened on my wedding day with the Arl's son, I had never killed anyone. And after that, it was just killing and killing day after day. I never had a chance to think about it until after the Blight. I haven't killed more than a rabbit or a fennec in a month."

 

Alistair smiled sadly and stroked her cheek with his thumb. "The first time I had ever killed anyone—or anything, other than animals for stew—was after I joined the wardens, thank the Maker.

 

"But you don't need to atone for anything, Ven. You're allowed to live. You're allowed to want to live."

 

Venowen stared intently into Alistair's eyes before a tear slipped down her cheek. Alistair wrapped her up in his arms, stroking her hair, encouraging her to let it all out. She sobbed, and it was like a dense fog of all the bad was slowly being lifted.

 

Alistair stayed where he was and let Venowen just cry. She clutched the front of his shirt with both of her hands, and her face rested in the nape of his neck. Tathas, at hearing the sounds coming from his master, hustled to stand next to Venowen and began licking her hand and nudging her with his head. Venowen laughed at that, but it was a wretched, wet laugh.

 

As Venowen calmed down, the two of them sat back on the cloths they had laid out next to the fire. Tathas jumped on top of them, very nearly breaking their two sets of legs. Alistair tried to get the gigantic hunk of dog off of him, but Venowen playfully slapped at him, saying Tathas was comfortable and she'd take the top off his tent the next time it rained if he dared bother her poor dog.

 

The easiness between them was already back, and as they laughed and talked well after the sun went down and ended the night with a kiss and a tent left empty, Alistair couldn't have been more thankful for Morrigan.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [gaysparkler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaysparkler/pseuds/gaysparkler) for editing my fic x)
> 
> I have a [Tumblr!](https://aveline-the-dragon-slayer.tumblr.com/)


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